The emotion in this is so real, genuine, and the content - heartbreaking.
I smiled just in the first two stanzas because of the way you lovingly care for this person, talk about her... she's obviously someone beloved, cared for, appreciated in the family.
With the third stanza, my heart broke. Whether this is dementia or Alzheimer's, I can't imagine the pain or hardships witnessing it. While I don't have anyone in my family dealing with this, I have a good friend from church who visits her mother, and she talks about the good vs. bad days. You made this piece so memorable and lovable because you really show the depth of this person's heart, how much she wants to understand, the little things she couldn't remembered that probably mean a lot to her. It's the small things that matter.
That ending gave me shivers. Such a beautiful soul, and that longing to know, remember, go back to the way things were.
Thank you for sharing this and telling her story and your bond with her. Even though I don't know her, she seems precious and it's really nice you could pen her memory.
5 years ago
I agree that this poem has a lot of emotion built into it. I can tell that you love this person dearly, and that you feel helpless because you don't know what to do.
I am so sorry that you have to go through this, with your loved one. It is a terrible ordeal, and it does not get any better since it is more than likely a progressive disease.
No matter what, always love them. Always be there for them, since they have always been there for you. Even though you might feel like they might have abandoned you, it is not their fault. They could not help it...and I am sure that she would rather not have this happen to anyone. You are also aware that she wants to show you that she loves you, just by the simple act of remembering your name.
Well deserving of a win. I am sorry for this. I wish that this never happens to anyone, but unfortunately it does.
Thanks for the heartfelt comment. Will your sentiments change though if I admit that, as the author, my mother isn't actually suffering from dementia? Though she did show some signs of it which gave birth to the poem. The the beauty of writing I see, we don't necessarily have to express our actual concerns, but somewhat a fictional reality of what can be (see: Ars Poetica).
I like your interpretation though. For me, the poem can be read in two ways, hence the title, "In Memory":
1. It's about memory, and our innermost human connection with it; how it affects our relationship with the ones who matter
2. In memory... of. Of the someone who mattered, someone we love. One can also read the poem as if the speaker is sending a tribute to his/her mother who has already passed.
Great poem, really getting in touch with a topic which most of us can relate to, whether it be through someone we know having dementia, or through fear that it will happen to ourselves, and that we will forget the ones we love, and also who we are!
I liked how you managed to create a character and make your readers feel connected to this character too, like we knew them. It leaves room for interpretation for the reader to have someone in their own mind who could be going through a situation like this.
The whole poem is very good, but there is one line in particular that is not so much overly creative, it is simple, but it stands out and I think is the most important part of your poem....
How quickly things change.
- I think this line is so powerful, and really hits you in the face when you are reading, because it is so true that things can change in the blink of an eye, either to ourselves or someone close to us.
Congrats on the win. You put together a really good piece!
5 years ago
5 years ago
This sweet, personal piece that manages to break the reader's heart in some of the most beautiful ways poetry can. It shows so much love and detail towards the author and her surroundings while also expressing what their sense of family life is. Beautifully put, eloquently vivid, and delicately laced with emotion. Great job of letting us stand in the author's shoes while also looking in from the window.
This poem is so moving, very touching to read. I read it several times and each time I felt like I was part of this little scene, it was so raw and vivid. I think it feels very personal, realistic, and so easy to imagine the situation as if it was yourself in the shoes of the characters. I liked the very minor details in the opening, just showing the smallest thing this person would do such as the typing errors which made people laugh. I found a very big contrast in the poem from the happy and upbeat message in the first stanza, to the very sad and touching tears at the end of the poem. A very quick turn around by the author which I feel again just highlights how this happens in reality. Well done on this write.
I'm wowed. The flow of it is amazingly wonderful. Choice of words really made me feel connected like I was listening as it was read out loud.
The way is simple and understandable. Wish I could say more about it, but that would rob you of the chances to imagine me smiling as I read it for the fifth time.