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It's simple sorry to have to say this, the first person is a nice touch but I really wish it could've been a mix of first person and third it would've made it so spectacular, diction was normal which was nice, I wasn't really fond of the whole capital letters on every line, only capital letters that should be that way should be when you are done with one verse and start with another, grammar was fine, either than that lovely poem.

P.s. You shouldn't ask for comments it's against the PQ rules. If you do want to want comments either email them or post them in the posts either in the board for comments or in the family board I will get to it when I get the chance.

-Morii