Comments : Mr. Daydreamer

  • 9 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    This afternoon feels like
    the time I wrote again
    after my poetry died one February.
    Burnt postcards and sleepy memories
    feed my daydreams
    with false hopes and foolish serendipity .

    ^ It is always good to have time away from writing but as poets we crave that inspiration. our poetry doesn't die it just stays away. I love this intro though. We all have things that we keep inside of ourselves because we feel like we don't want to share them but when we do it becomes this beautiful work of art.

    Someone sits cross-legged,
    rolls eyes,
    and thinks if those flowers
    are abstract paintings
    or a wallpaper.

    ^ I love the simple imagery here, as you are using the flowers as your inspiration OR these are reminders of a good time in the past you have had. But it seems like you are detailing parts of your personal life here and taking us on a journey and leaving us a small glimpse of your life this year.

    My second cup of coffee
    has been drunk by my thoughts
    about being forgotten and replaced
    like this grave of white Camellias.

    ^ woah there is so much going on in this stanza. in the first two lines they tell me that it is either early morning or late at night and you are drinking coffee, trying to stay awake to write this poem. But then sadness hits and you realize why you cannot sleep, someone in your life has left and you are thin king about them everyday.

    Nostalgia tries to keep
    the atmosphere calm and simple,
    but it's just not the same

    without you.

    ^ Nothing is the same without the person we care about. :(. I love the first line here though, we all want to try to remember the good times with the people we care about, but in the end sadness seeps through and then we focus on that part of your past and memories, and in this case the present. you are alone and you miss this person terribly. :(

    Daydreams are foolish and treacherous,
    but my reveries hide beneath
    your puddled smiles
    that are eternally beautiful.

    ^ Daydreams can make us feel like we are nothing because we want to live in a world that is not really there. a fantasy. but we do that a lot, because as humans we need comfort and support, and when that is taken away our mind perceives that and drifts off. but when we snap back to reality that's when the emotions hit.

    I will wake up to my dreamy state of mind
    just to find myself
    slipping to reverie again.

    ^ Such a sad ending. and exactly what I said before. I love this poem though as it creates what we all feel and what we go through all the time. 5/5

  • 9 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    Daydreams are foolish and treacherous,

    ^^Yes daydreams are foolish and treacherous and it just makes life even more miserable with every sigh that leaves our lips. Another nice read...actually a dreamy read :)