Comments : Womb

  • 8 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    Simply beautiful, your flow in this poem is awesome and i love how well you paint a picture, when you read this it is impossible not to smile :) if anyone can then they have no soul!

    Wonderful Wonderful write.

  • 8 years ago

    by Mahal Ko Kuya Ko

    There is something heartwarming and tender about this write. I just love this! The structure and the flow of the poem helped in the over all message and thoughts of this piece, at least for me. Wonderful!

    --- MKKK

  • 8 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    You can paint words like no other.... this is just elegant!

  • 8 years ago

    by Koan

    I really loved this poem, but somehow this line:

    "hunger and war." took the joy out of it... Maybe
    because I believe young ones should be only exposed to positivity....

  • 8 years ago

    by Hellon

    This seemed like a very sad occasion to me. Like some sort of hardship (a war torn county perhaps) where this woman would inevitably give birth to her child. All she had was hope...recollecting tales of days gone before in order to keep some sort of order in a life that was anything but normal.

    Her promises of cheese and fruit made me think that she was determined to leave the country she was in and find a better life elsewhere...just my thoughts of course :)

  • 7 years ago

    by Em

    There is something so elegant about this piece yet a sense of sadness in it. Beautiful written as always.

    This single word alone is very nicely done because here there is a sense of being alone and as it's first person we should see that this is about one person alone, maybe?

    Before you were born,
    This next line shows what exactly you are going to be talking of and will no doubt make more sense during the rest of the piece and I feel it's not going to be full of roses.

    she dreamt of her hands
    on your face.
    The shift from first to third person here is quite unique because now it's like someone is talking about this scenario. It gives a wider picture I feel.

    Knowing June would be cold,
    she placed a hot water bottle on
    her belly and
    This here is very good because June isn't usually too cold but maybe where she is it was which makes me feel as though she has a cold feeling in her heart /head and giving her a water bottle tales the coldness away but only until this feeling of coldness has gone. Just my intake on it.

    sipped honey and lemon
    through the fissures
    in her tea cup.
    Now I have changed my mind maybe she was just I'll and needed the warmth to help her recuperate. Possibly, I'm not sure but the image of this lady sipping her honey and lemon is very vivid.

    She told you tales of her childhood,
    Were these stories good/bad? Either way I feel they needed telling to let go perhaps.

    of her father's childhood,
    Even further into the families history and how they became who they are today and to see how it shaped their future.

    about planes and sieges,
    hunger and war.
    This shows that war isn't far from mind. Are these from her fathers childhood, her childhood or even of the times now?

    She described for you
    cheese and fruit in the deli,
    This I feel has possible different interpretations mine being that she has rarely tasted these things and wanted different for her child.

    blushed and promised
    your lips would
    touch berries
    A promise can't be broken right? Here I feel that this lady I'd willing to leave everything behind just to give her child what she never had and that is what mothers do but it's not all rosy is it?

    as she left with
    milk, rice and
    What a very blunt end. This poor woman promises her child the world but can only give her so much. And shows that the 'hunger and war' in previous stanza is all too real.

    A very well written piece. Em