Comments : Can not sleep

  • 7 years ago

    by Lune de ma vie

    After such a secret is off my chest
    Why is sleep still hard to find.
    I feel drained mentally
    after proclaiming you as mine..

    - The emotions you are feeling are running strong through this first stanza. Boy, the feelings of a secret being lifted off your chest. Even so, they can take a toll on our psyche. The way you detailed this I can easily imagine you silently laying in bed listening to your heart thump

    I'm home alone
    Rugged up in bed.
    Cats together sleeping
    Paws right next to my head.

    - LOVE IT! A simple and short stanza but so much imagination and vividness to it. Rugged up in bed, I can see you tied up in knots with your blanket. The cats such a great side note that really ties this scene in perfectly. (As I've been there)

    Where is sleep?
    Why cant it come?
    A hundred sheep I've counted,
    I'm running out of songs to hum..

    - Insomnia is torture. I go through it a lot. The way you pieced the haunting of a sleepless night in this stanza is too real, I can feel your longing for the Sandman to visit you. The helplessness of wishing to just die because of how sleepy you must be.

    Tried green tea
    An hour later; milk and honey..
    Yet nothing works!
    This is way past funny..

    - So sad.. I love the detail of what you've tried.. I love the way this entire poem is written, it's entertaining but for anyone who has experienced insomnia it can even be a nightmare of a read lol.. Love it.

    5/5

    • 7 years ago

      by deeplydesturbed

      Thank you so much for the detailed comment!
      I'm glad you can relate! Sleep sometimes just fails to come! :(
      or when it does it only seems to be an hour then wide awake again!

      Thank you for reading!

  • 7 years ago

    by Marvellous

    All that happens tend towards win. When it gets tensed up, end is close.