Comments : Fighting for life

  • 9 years ago

    by IdTakeABulletForYou

    A truly stunning piece, I see your style is evolving beautifully. Proud of you! :)

    My favorite line was definitely: "The life before you is your paradise." Sums up everything I neglect every day of my life.

    5/5
    Much love,
    IdTakeaBulletForYou

    • 9 years ago

      by deeplydesturbed

      Thank you! :)
      I'm glad you enjoyed :)

      obviously it is not quite there yet! but I am learning (with a LOT of help!)

    • 9 years ago

      by deeplydesturbed

      I dont know why it posted twice LOL :) but ty

  • 9 years ago

    by Belle

    "A dwindling world below your worn out feet"

    This line hit home. It's how I feel about the world I live in today. I'm worn out from walking a meaningless existence.

  • 9 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Naomi,

    Your poetry is quite literally getting better and more accomplished by the day; you have a real flair for rhyme in general.

    SL

    • 9 years ago

      by deeplydesturbed

      Thank you - i have decided im starting to fight back!! :)
      Id love to see myself a year from now. And compare :)

  • 9 years ago

    by Em

    A very powerful, moving piece.

    Em

  • 9 years ago

    by Brenda

    N, a very strong write! It shows a lot of growth and empowerment which is wonderful! You go girl! Well done-