Comments : Blame me not!

  • 7 years ago

    by Em

    Celine, this is a dark piece full of imagery and somewhat sadness behind the whole of it.
    I have a few suggestions if that's ok?

    Can compare to an angel
    but worst like a demon from hell.
    Just hiding inside
    in this innocent facade
    ^^
    On the outside I could compare to an angel
    but inside reaching out is a demon from hell
    just creeping out of my innocent facade.

    Oppressed emotion of mine
    Burst like a flaming flare
    Dazzle through the air
    Causing such a lot of pain.
    ^^
    Bursts out like a flaming flare

    Blame me not!
    For being like this.
    for it is not my fault.
    to become a beast.
    ^^
    I become a beast.
    Remember they are only suggestions. All in all a good write. Em

    • 7 years ago

      by El_Mabini

      Thank you so much for the suggestion.

    • 7 years ago

      by El_Mabini

      Thank you so much for the suggestion.

  • 11 months ago

    by Ink

    Oh I really liked this poem!! I thoroughly enjoyed your phrasing and the contents is very relatable. Wonderful. Regards Ink.