Comments : Blocked Memories

  • 7 years ago

    by Em

    Shanky, it's been a while, I hope you're well.
    This may be short but it's so meaningful and personal to you I feel and as a reader I can relate somewhat well, can't we all? And I guess good poetry is emotional, relatable or very telling and this has it all.

    The harsh light went through the crystal like tear
    ^^
    I like the word harsh here as it reminds me of when you are asleep and someone turns n the light then you wake up. Also, I guess light shining through crystal is beautiful but here it is tears so may be beautiful but somewhat saddening.

    and like a butterfly,
    it came out as beautiful a rainbow
    ^^
    I think here it could possibly be reworded to help the flow so it reads "it came out beautiful as a rainbow" just a suggestion but this is pure genius and the imagery is perfect.

    as the memories of our laughter.
    ^^
    Memories of laughter or that make us laugh can spark up something so beautiful ust as you describe.

    All in all fab write. Em

  • 7 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Shanky,

    A translucent and hypnotic sort of write that I enjoyed; creative and original.

    Well done,

    Ben

  • 7 years ago

    by Golden AnGel Rhapsodist

    Elegant little piece.
    well done

    Gel

    • 7 years ago

      by DarkLight

      Thank you Gel. I appreciate you feedback.

  • 7 years ago

    by Golden AnGel Rhapsodist

    You're welcome :)