Comments : Day (Haiku + Senryu)

  • 3 years ago

    by Golden AnGel Rhapsodist


    I like this double form poem... so refreshing it's like saying that today is a new beginning. I love it.


  • 3 years ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Hello Jessica,

    I like these dual formed poems. I have tried a few myself as they add an extra challenging element. More a Haiku /Acrostic, perhaps?

    The overall message of waking up to a new day with fresh possibilities following the grief of the previous one is appealing.

    I have just one suggestion if I may. Using the word 'day' in the title and poem detracts slightly to my mind. If you were to use the imagery of a sunrise this would achieve the same outcome.

    Delightful sunrise
    Anew, bringing fresh chances
    Your grief left behind
    Also formatting the text to the left shows off the acrostic.

    Either way this is a good poem that creates the intended optimistic emotions.

    Take care,