Comments : Day (Haiku + Senryu)

  • 7 years ago

    by Golden AnGel Rhapsodist

    Jessica,

    I like this double form poem... so refreshing it's like saying that today is a new beginning. I love it.

    5/5
    Gel

  • 7 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Hello Jessica,

    I like these dual formed poems. I have tried a few myself as they add an extra challenging element. More a Haiku /Acrostic, perhaps?

    The overall message of waking up to a new day with fresh possibilities following the grief of the previous one is appealing.

    I have just one suggestion if I may. Using the word 'day' in the title and poem detracts slightly to my mind. If you were to use the imagery of a sunrise this would achieve the same outcome.

    Delightful sunrise
    Anew, bringing fresh chances
    Your grief left behind
    ^
    Also formatting the text to the left shows off the acrostic.

    Either way this is a good poem that creates the intended optimistic emotions.

    Take care,

    Michael