Comments : A Diamond in the Rough (Sonnet)

  • 7 years ago

    by Golden AnGel Rhapsodist

    Kasie,

    I was hooked by the title and get in love with the content. .. I can say that you're getting better and better in every piece you shared with us. .

    I may not be a precious diamond band,
    Or flawless as I always once aspired.
    But I'm a pearl that's brewed from ocean sand,
    And I will always long to be desired.

    ^^^^
    a mind provoking stanza. .. I love it

    well done

    Gel

    • 7 years ago

      by Kasie

      Thank you so much. I'm still tweaking it a little. It's suppose to be a sonnet, but I can't get the couplet at the end to sound right and say what I want it to say at the same time.

  • 7 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Hello Kasie,

    another sonnet in the making.

    I read that you are struggling with the summarising couplet. How about this?

    A diamond has a strength that always lights
    but wisdom shines in pearls for those with sight

    I hope it helps.

    • 7 years ago

      by Kasie

      Thank you, this really helps. You are a blessing! Thank you so much.

  • 7 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Kasie,

    This is excellent - truly. A really accomplished sonnet.

    • 7 years ago

      by Kasie

      Thank you

  • 7 years ago

    by Em

    Kasie, this is a really good sonnet and it seems you have mastered this form very well. Again, I hope I can do them as well as you, Ben and Michael with the help of the group workshops.

    1/ Well, what can I say? This is a powerful opening with a very thought provoking message (I feel) and though diamonds are unbreakable and pleasant on the eyes doesn't mean they are nice on the inside if we could break them, eight? And to me the beauty is best on the inside not the out.

    2/ This is a very inspiring part and I must say my favourite because we all need to be stronger than what we are but life is set in stone and I know it's cliched but everything happens for a reason and the things that are sent to test is are only sent if we are strong enough to withstand them or so I have been told anyway. Many of us can relate to this especially on this site.

    3/ love this part as to me it's saying "I am different and if you don't love that then sod you."

    Couplet/ Wisdom is most definitely better. Loved this.

    Kudos,
    Em

    • 7 years ago

      by Kasie

      Thank you, I chose the pearl, because a pearl is formed from a single grain of sand which over many years more sand is added and it forms a beautiful pearl. Each grain of sand symbolizes each flaw or problem we encounter that makes us who we are.

  • 7 years ago

    by Em

    Very true Kasie. We all have flaws and make mistakes but those things make us who we are and not one of us is perfect.

  • 7 years ago

    by Gemma Warburton

    Wonderful write

    • 7 years ago

      by Kasie

      Thank you