Comments : Dry Ice

  • 6 years ago

    by Em

    Andrea, I feel once again our emotions are in sync which is unfortunate though it's the other parent for me, my father. This oozes nostalgia and sadness which I am all too familiar with.

    To me the title is intriguing because it's not a term used often (in my opinion) but it mirrors nicely the feelings of raw emotion that follows with the content of the piece as the solidness of dry ice is dangerous to handle without protection but not very toxic and I personally feel that's so relatable to the actual piece.

    1/ Here I imagine a child/young person feeling unwanted but very needy because of not getting the attention they crave/deserve and it saddens me because it happens too often and screaming no matter how loud doesn't help.

    2/ Ok so the colours here were intriguing as I instantly thought yellow and liver/kidney problems usually related to drink and becoming jaundice and the purple I thought bruising and if this was related to the easy bruising or someone (possibly yourself) has inflicted them or maybe I'm just completely off but that was my first thoughts but again there's that kind of dismissive behaviour from the mother figure because she notices things but in my opinion doesn't act on them and then there's this darkness within your mind which you hide with a smile especially when your father is around because you don't want him to notice and I question if this is a broken home (I apologise if I step on any toes)

    3/ This toxic thing (possibly the darkness within your mind) is erasing the goodness you feel within yourself and manipulating it (let's say) the imagery of you choking upon the evidence of I believe your mum knowing the way you feel and doing nothing to help but the look of disappointment on her face tells you that you're no better than a little ant and I know exactly how this feels with my father and it's shocking to go through it and now that it happens all over the world.

    The break is very effective.

    This ending is a hard hit because sometimes those who birthed us or were involved in birthing us do not give us the love we need instead they shower us with gifts of which we'd prefer their love. It's unfortunate but again it happens.

    A sombre but fantastic piece as always

    Em.x

  • 6 years ago

    by Jamie

    Loved this Andrea, nominated!

  • 6 years ago

    by Milly Hayward

    Very emotional read that more than a few of us can to relate to whether because of a father or mother experience. Superb piece x

  • 6 years ago

    by Michael

    Andrea
    Chillingly wonderful

    Michael :)

  • 6 years ago

    by mossgirl19

    Ms. Andi, I had to read it twice to understand the poem fully, and WOW, it is such a heart-breaking piece and I cannot imagine that mother's eyes looking at me and mirroring all my flaws. I think that it is a very sad state to be in and my heart reaches out to you. As a mother though, I get that I sometimes tend to transfer the blame to my innocent daughter by scolding her when I feel really bad about my life, which is not healthy and I always in all my control, avoid that. I do believe that a mother's love is incomparable. The world is just a little corrupted sometimes and hugely unfair.

  • 6 years ago

    by Brenda

    Andrea, I'm gutted by this-to have your parent look at you like-"Oh great, I birthed that..." My heart just tore out...hugs my friend-

  • 6 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Thank you everyone for your precious comments.
    This was very difficult to write. I was born with birth marks covering my entire body back in 1970. Back then they dry iced them off....which they thought was safe back then.... clearly they do not do that these days...as for my mother...well the poem speaks for itself.. I just wanted to give some background to the title, thank you

  • 6 years ago

    by Ren

    Raw and absolutely heart breaking. A beautifully written piece full of such extreme emotion, Andrea. Much love to you!

  • 6 years ago

    by P.S.

    Souls grow, only the everlasting knows