Stephen,

I do love to read short poems that pack a deep and heartfelt message. Each line has a sad and yet in depth message from the heart.

One small suggestion I have is the all caps takes away from the beauty of this piece. .by changing that, it will read with elegance.

Welcome to P and Q Stephen, and we'll done!

Stephen, welcome to P&Q! I love this write and I too agree with Andrea, losing the all caps will bring the elegance this write deserves. Well done though, a lot said in a few words.

Hello Steph, welcome to the site. A heartfelt first post with great depth. Enjoyed it. Yes, I do think that losing the caps will add a different flare to this one.

Thanks for the feedback

Welcome Stephen, I have not written a single senyru by far and here you are writing a double one in your very first post.

Stephen, just one word: beautiful!

Especially the second half of the senyru.

These days I am writing about the memories too..

Hiya

Just trying to catch up on new stuff after a break and seen this.

Really really well done

Craig

Beautiful