Kitty and Michael, thank you for taking time out to read and comment on this.
Inspiration? Well, I like the idea of childbirth; it's certainly a journey that can bring more that an 'expected' babe.
I guess, this is about a journey, or a cat perhaps, with a prickly thorn in its ending tail?
6 years ago
by Ben Pickard
All I am sorry for is that I didn't get to comment first on this marvellous comeback poem from you. It is genuinely a joy to see your work grace these pages again. Your originality and presence has been much missed around these parts of late.
It's funny, reading the comments, because as I read I felt the piece was about your return to pnq and the different feel of it after the changes. But, they're just my thoughts.
Michael, you know how I sign off but it never means any less:
All the very best to you as ever,
6 years ago
Mr D as you know I am happy to see you back and then to see a new post from you was wonderful and as always you never fail to amaze me with your wondrous work.
The title was gripping and I have to admit that it reminded me of my 'I'd rather be a dreamer' piece because I imagine you not realising what is reality and what isn't or this person having two realities maybe their work and home life or something they're hiding from people as they're ashamed of their guilty pleasure. The imagery you portray is just: wow it leaves fantastic images in my mind.
I like the start because it sets the scene nicely I love a good sunset but it makes me wonder why is the sun setting is it actually setting or is it a huge metaphor for something more sinister perhaps? I love how you separate some of the words giving them their own lines because it gives the poem much move ooompth.
1/ I love this because to me it says someone is making huge changes in their lives and as we do so often we don't like the result so we try to change again. The 'leaded legs' to me say that maybe this change has been coming for some time but for some reason somethings held them back which isn't unusual.
2/ I'm not too sure about this marrow thing I thought you were talking about bone marrow at first then I realised about the fruit and I wondered if this was to do with family growing and watching them part ways as they realise they aren't all alike but that's OK and this is why changes were made in the first stanza or atleast I think they were (my interpretation) the flesh not smelling right made me think of deceit not sure why but my minds gone crazy lol okay maybe this is about you being a 'prodigal son' of the site with you return
3/ OK so my last statement on the last stanza still stands I interpret this as your return into something not so sinister and the uproar is like this pain you feel like a stab in the back so to speak possibly?
4/ I can feel the emotions running through you here and it hits like a tonne of bricks - sometimes we face them head on other times we can't seem to stand straight when they're coming at us and they hit us anyway unfortunately but you're strong you'll get back up I digress change is inevitable always but is it always necessary? I personally think not.
5/ This did raise a smile for your misunfortunate events but I could feel that slap and imagine you standing there holding your face screaming "your bleeeeeeep" lol though I can imagine coming back here has been a real slap as janis has stopped renovations of the site and seems to have taken up camp somewhere anyway your wording as always is sublime it just catches us out.
Ending/ love love love this because we are all diverse but stuck in the swamp you speak of amazing imagery too also love how you ended this with a rhetorical question as it leaves us questioning things or me atleast.
Genuinely nice to see you back and excuse the essay.
It feels good to read your poems and welcome back to the si te. You mention a cat, cats don't like changes and they sure don't like to relocate. I like the parte a branch is hitting your face. Often in life We are getting slapped in the face that can make us feel speechless. Welcome to the swamp now that is a good one. Please don't go under. All the very best.
Michael, love this and I have missed your writes! I read some of your comments on this and I decided I would throw my thoughts in too. I saw this as your move to your new home, it's familiar but it's not. Some days I'm sure you felt you were miring about in a swamp. House renovations can be daunting, moving can be daunting, change can be daunting...I would think there is more than one day you feel like you entered the twilight zone-