Comments : Heaven or dust

  • 2 years ago

    by Mark

    Last verse got me! A poem of unrequited love? Enjoyed the dust...making the earth your delight. It's a great perspective you give to your works...profound.

  • 2 years ago

    by Kitty Cat Lady

    Shane! This is brilliant! I just love it and it really touched me :-)
    Yes it's a painful subject, unrequited love is really pants, but the way you've depicted it is just sooo good!

    That feeling of being willing to take the crumbs of love offered and trying to figure someone out as they play you ...

    "my mind became a labyrinth
    while solving a case of you. "


    Fingers crossed this is nominated if it isn't already. Bloody well done! x

  • 2 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    You really are a talented and welcome addition to the site, Shane. Excellent writing.


  • 2 years ago

    by Milly Hayward

    An excellent piece with great visuals. Very profound. Really enjoyable read. Milly x

  • 2 years ago

    by ddavidd

    Dear Lu. all your verses are statement on their own. They are utterly unique -not imitating other's works.- But what is most striking about your works is the metaphors. You mix element together, so unusually and amazingly make them work. This by itself alone is the sign of a very creative and unique mind.

  • 2 years ago

    by mossgirl19

    Shane, this is a beautiful write... I love the beautiful tone of your writes, it's very unique as Frank puts it. This speaks to the is passionate and full of yearning with a tinge of sadness over love that is lost. I feel bad that I do not have a nomination this would do well in the front page. I hope someone does nominate.

  • 2 years ago

    by Brenda

    Shane, this truly is just lovely. The story it tells is so sad, hope, then crushed. So beautiful -

  • 2 years ago

    by .k.u.s.h.q.u.e.e.n.c.j.

    I just fell in awe over this peice. Such beautiful work again. The second and third stanzas really spoke to me. Added to favs!

  • 2 years ago

    by Julieth

    Beautiful piece

  • 2 years ago

    by naaz

    It's so easy to say to our mother I love you, even to our father, our brothers and sisters, but these three words are always too hard to speak to someone whom we fall in love for the first time.
    It's good to know that at least you let her know how you felt for her, but it's harsh to read that she didn't accept your proposal.
    Love is a complicated thing. It not easily happens in love that the person we love, loves us back.
    When that happens it shatters all our dreams, fills our heart with silence like someone inside us has been killed.
    I guess this is what you have tried to tell in these lines...

    Once the streets of my soul
    were infected with your love
    my mind became a labyrinth
    while solving a case of you.

    The only thing I didn't understand in this poem was 5th and 6th stanza as I didn't find any continuity between the two.
    If someone doesn't love back, then it doesn't mean that person is bad. So, there is no reason to call her piece of rock.
    The end of the poem, start spinning upon the green, could be about anything - depression, anxiety, loneliness or maybe drugs as I am not sure.
    Ss, this poem is good to read, but the last one I read was much better.
    Tone of this poem sounds as refreshing as a broken heart in love for the very first time.
    I would only say, we should try to put our feelings in front of the person we love but at the same time we should learn to respect their decision too.
    And never ever stop looking in the eyes of the strangers because we often fall in love with the strangers.
    From me, All the best for the decisions you are going to make in the future.