Comments : Heaven

  • 8 years ago

    by ddavidd

    " the stars I've gazed upon,
    and hope to know, in those ahead,
    nights finer than one's gone."
    How poetical! How human!

  • 8 years ago

    by Em

    I am speechless.. this is flawless. Please accept my nomination as my appreciation

    • 8 years ago

      by mossgirl19

      I'll have to agree with Em. Flawless and as always I resonated well with it.

    • 8 years ago

      by IdTakeABulletForYou

      Thank you to the both of you. Not perfect, as Ben pointed out, but I'm content with it. I'm glad you are as well.

      Much love,
      S

  • 8 years ago

    by Mark

    I hope the afterlife has more for me too.

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    I have to be honest, the first stanza threw me a little as I was expecting it to rhyme, but it didn't but the other two stanzas did. Anyway, aside from that, this is a dark and imaginative piece with a terribly sad ending.

    Take care, Stephen.

    • 8 years ago

      by IdTakeABulletForYou

      Actually, it does rhyme. It's an assonant rhyme instead of a perfect rhyme. Indeed, it ended dark, though it was not my intention; I have been in pursuit of a happy poem for some time now but they always take a turn toward the dark side.

      Thanks for commenting Ben,
      S

    • 8 years ago

      by Ben Pickard

      lol, okay Stephen, fair enough. I should have been clearer - last word rhyme. What I meant is the format of the rhyming is different but that doesn't matter a bit; poetry is free and different styles are there to be experimented with.

      All the very best

  • 8 years ago

    by Michael

    A clever piece.
    Who knows what lies in wait, and you have penned this really well.
    Well done
    Michel :)

  • 8 years ago

    by Brenda

    Stephen, keep perusing that happy poem. I will always love your dark works. This is no exception, well done-

  • 8 years ago

    by deeplydesturbed

    ohhhhh.... S
    WOW! I love your dark stuff, but this... wow. I enjoy this side of you..

  • 8 years ago

    by Paul Hirst

    Lovely flow