Comments : Come. Hide from the Sun

  • 6 years ago

    by Ya----Na

    Powerful and touching write!

    • 6 years ago

      by Sunshine

      Thank you for reading and for your review!

  • 6 years ago

    by naaz

    Hi Rania, first of all, sorry I forgot to nominate your poem last week and by the time it came into my mind I was late someone nominated it. The good thing is that it was nominated and I loved the way Jamie interpreted it.

    Rania, I missed the sheet of sun so this week I would I have to compensate by hiding from it. Anyways, I am going to write how I feel about this poem.

    Because of this line... Who returns from war as a winner anyway?
    It feels like the poet is in some kind of war with herself. There was a war going inside her mind or other interpretation say about the war in literal.

    Right from the start, to me, this poem sounds like darkness is calling... come to me and there is no need to be afraid of me. As the title says 'come. Let us hide from the sun', or hide from hope. Last week poem was about to look for hope. It seems that in one week poet has totally gave up on hope. Finally, she has started listening to the voice of darkness and believing in those things it is whispering into her mind.
    Be afraid of nothing but daylight (hope). Trust the crack beneath your feet says aren't you tired of running to find shimmering light or tree of gold. Don't run anymore those were just myths.

    From the war point of view title says.. like in today's world everything is happening in front of our eyes as in open and we are helpless to stop it. Monsters(terrorists, bombs, bullets) do not come at night, ghost don't haunt you in your sleep or they don't look ugly and wear white clothes. Do not open the door because a tragedy could be waiting outside.

    This poem looks very simple while reading but has hidden metaphors in almost every line. Not lean against structured wall again says do not look for hope. So there are many metaphors.

    The use of shall instead of will makes it more promising for the poet to believe in darkness and it grasps the attention of readers too.
    I loved how you used word drenched twice repeatedly and both the times it meant different things. First time, it meant throughly wet and second time it meant lost.

    Then there are few lines which give some other thoughts about this poem. I am going to mention just one..
    Who returns from war as a winner anyway?
    The most victorious never returns the same,
    clutching to bitter skin & a broken name.
    These words says several things..
    Like, if you are in love and you lost it becomes hard for you to be the same person.
    Or the victims or refugees of war never be the same, memories of losing their loved ones haunt them or those who fight during the war, the soldiers they have to make tough decisions during it and often the consequences of their own decisions followed them all their life and even they never remain the same.

    From both ways, the tone of the poem continues to be the same. There is irony, bitterness, sadness in the language.
    Edit: Another irony is that other do not comment on your poem unless you comment on their ones.
    But instead of the language of the poem when I read from the darkness point of view I find the language full of hope. It's like ok you have tried everything they said to you now let's come to me, I shall give you the world you are looking for.

    To be honest, the more I read it, new thoughts about this poem start popping up in my mind. So, I am going to end it by saying that the poet is looking for peace and I just hope she finds it.

    All the best!

    • 6 years ago

      by Sunshine

      Naaz I really admire your analysis on my poem, more than my poem itself.

      I thank you for your kind words and for thoroughly reading my poems. Reading between the lines and giving so much attention to the little details in the poem has given it credit more than I would have attributed to it, so thank you.

      I won't claim to share the emotions of the character in my poem, but your words made me fall in love with it.

      It's always exciting to see how far poets and readers can go with their interpretations and readings. It's just so beautiful.

      Thank you, deeply appreciated.

  • 6 years ago

    by Sunshine

    **

  • 6 years ago

    by Hellon

    I'm sorry I can't write a decent comment for you (you know why) but suffice to say I've always admired your work and this is a reminder why.

    • 6 years ago

      by Sunshine

      Ooh :)) you made my day with your words. thank you for the motivation! <3

  • 6 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    The world is full of fear - we heard them in the books our parents read to us, then the books we chose to read. Now we see in the media - the trouble is the fear is real in the world.

    When I read this though, it reminded me that we have our internal faith that if we hope for light, there will be. If we hope that this world and its politicians can make the right decisions then we will be safe.

    I like the part of sewing truth to our lashes. This really resonated with me. Surely if we look for truth, we will see the truth. The truth is we are all the same and there is no need for barriers. Now when we all trust in this, we may see a bright future where the world is one.

    Take care, Rania.