I like the obvious passion in this and almost wild love. There's a hunger yet a fulfilment that food doesn't satisfy, but love does.

There were a few lines I felt read awkwardly, but if that was your intent to make it seemed rushed and kind of in-the-moment, I could see that.

"as each trembling quiver doesn’t forget"

- the "doesn't forget" sounded strange when read aloud. Maybe "never fails to forget". It could just be me.

"we two" should be "we too"

I actually think the last few lines are the strongest in the poem. It screams urgency to me. A kind of recklessness or simply two people who just want to lose track of time together, explore each other.