Betrayal opens wounds that can rarely be mended. This piece is a vivid reminder that actions often have repurcussions far beyond what are first imagined. Milly x
7 months ago
This is a great emotional poem for so many reasons that I will go into with my overactive mind xD.
what I have learned from observation and experience is that when people start crying and ot tearing up, they become lost for words, or they start stuttering or choke down their feelings. I truly believe that people should Express their feelings in some way, no matter what. Whether it be writing, yelling, talking, crying. I found it to make you feel better.
I really enjoyed the stages of emotions you portrayed here, it reminds me of the stages of grief, while not all of them are displayed here, due to the line limitations, the ones you did use play perfectly to the title. A couple of things about the second line, it fits perfectly with the title again, because sometimes with anger you stutter on your words, but I also enjoyed the word torrent.
In reality you showed both sides for anger, the lost for words as is in your title and the torrent, basically spit fire side where people rant and rave. But this person must have done something horrible to get these types of emotions.
This I feel is a perfect ending choice. Not only do you show why this person has a wide array of emotions, because they were lied to, but connecting torrent and drowns is a great symbolism to showcase how each person is feeling at the time. I am going to nominate this because of the (I think) perfectly way it was written. Well done.
I think Milly and Jamie have said all that can be said here, but just a quick note from me on your ability to truly take a reader's breath away in a few short lines of emotive writing. This isn't the first time by any means...damn you, man!
This like everyone else basically said says alot in a few lines your ability to do so is like magic because you do it so well.
The title could be taken so many ways as in you could be lost for words as someone as said / done something to shock you qqi you or you've been given a wonderful gift /surprise party which you weren't expecting therefore used that phrase but obviously reading on we're the ones surprised.....
The content all the syllables present and correct lol what more can I say the image here is one that I have been on the receiving end of before now and it's not pretty and to be honest I'm glad that it's based on another piece and not reality as I know you're not like that l.
Take care xx