Comments : Liquor Soul

  • 7 months ago

    by deeplydesturbed

    S - there are a number of reasons i like this piece.
    Obviously, firstly is how relatable it is..
    Someones journey trying to give up alcohol and failing - so bloody well portrayed here. I felt every emotion falling off the page..
    Secondly - how strong the ending is.. how someone who does turn back to the bottle feels as though they have failed and how they will binge until they are physically shaking and drunk on the ground.
    I wish i could nominate.

    Excellent piece.

    • 7 months ago

      by IdTakeABulletForYou

      Thanks for reading, N, and for always reading. You seem to manage it far better than this poem describes, but you inspired it nonetheless ????

      Much love
      S

  • 7 months ago

    by Hellon

    This is a very honest poem and one that I will nominate when we get our votes back. In the meantime I will ask that you look at the opening couplet because I stumbled and could have dismissed it but, I'm so glad I didn't

    "You hate being yourself so much
    that you drink liquor like a crutch"the word "that" is what I found to be a "harsh' word so...maybe you could look at it again??

    • 7 months ago

      by IdTakeABulletForYou

      Thank you for the constructive criticism, Hellon. I had felt the same about the first couple lines (sophomoric/rudimentary) and I've re-evaluated them. Let me know if you like what I've replaced in its stead!

      Also, thanks for taking the time to read. It is much appreciated.

      S