I see from your poems it's been awhile since you've posted, and so, I hope to read more! This is the kind of gut-wrenching honest that is deep in its simplicity, laid out there from the soul, something that the reader can connect to quite easily.
I pray and hope you have the courage as well. Sometimes, I think it's a touchy subject, because so many times we hear (or at least I've heard) that we need to just reach out. There there are people, resources and support in our grasp. All we have to do is ask. Or say we can't do it by ourselves. And that doesn't mean we're weak. I also see the other perspective that there are times too when it's not possible, when the burden is too heavy on us. It's not easy asking for help. And I would never think someone is not strong enough or courageous enough if there's this weight and heaviness. It's so hard and complicated. As someone who's heart has been in this darkness, I wish you all the best. I wish you hope and light. Keep going. Keep writing.
thank you for the comment, it was a personal piece because I know I need help. And even still sometimes I can't bring myself to ask, I want to be strong. But I also don't want to add my burden onto other people.
I've always tried to deal with my emotions alone. even though I know sometimes.... you need help. I just need the strength to ask.