Comments : Who is Playing the Music

  • 4 years ago

    by D.

    I find it hard to catch up with your poetry Bob. So prolific!

    I always enjoy your writing - such elegance and confidence with language. There are seldom errors in wording but I applaud your experimentation, and truly believe you are among the most interesting writers on this site. A tad wordy towards the end, this poem is all about some beautiful moments in vocabulary:

    ‘Hoofs’, ‘quell’, ‘lament’, ‘mutely’

    You truly are a fan of the ‘l’ sound. I am too. It’s possibly the Latin influence.

    Grammatically, towards the end, it should be:

    Lament(ations) of music (are) quietly crawling the distance.

    This is a gorgeous piece, that begs the reader to question movement and sound in the vacuity of space. Well written as ever, Bob.

    • 4 years ago

      by ddavidd

      Thank you for your compliment and your always honest criticism. You are one of the very very few little groups of people around here who I always enjoy reading their criticism Of my work. Firstly because they are the only people who write criticism, (as maturely as this one) second because they often know what they are talking about.
      I always implement your corrections, because your mastery of the language is envious and respected by me. English is my second language. (I write a little better in my language) But here, Lament is not only a verb. I used it as a noun. Definition of the lament as a noun: A feeling or expression of grief; a lamentation. ( the Free Dictionary ~online~
      If I am missing something, please advise me.

    • 4 years ago

      by D.

      Ah okay, if it’s singular then it would be ‘a lament’ if speaking generally, or ‘the lament’ if you’re talking about there only existing one. If it’s a plural, ‘lamentations’ just sounds better than ‘laments’. I hope that helped! Without an article/pronoun, I always read ‘lament’ as a verb.

  • 4 years ago

    by ddavidd

    I guessed it that is commonly a verb. Thank you so much for the useful explanation.