Comments : I pray

  • 4 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    I really liked how in this poem particularly, I felt like you made a conscious decision not to use punctuation, and it worked in my opinion. That reflection of being at the crossroads, choosing to stand tall. There's quite a bit of introspection in this and the mention of your "secret place" had me thinking. Is this your place of safety? Of belief, of knowing that there is another path? That things aren't so rocky?

    My one suggestion would be in the second stanza to re-think "were the corners being all round". This line broke the flow for me, my brain corrected "were" to "where" and I didn't see the need for "being". I thought it may sound better "where the corners are all round" to correlate with the next line. The mention of blueprints gives me the sense of creation for sure, of innovation and improvement.

    Thought-provoking piece!