I was just having a discussion with someone that a symptom of depression that can often be overlooked is irritability. Also, people don't realize that depression can affect people differently. It doesn't always look the same. Just like with, say, manic episodes, it can be hard for the person to understand the severity of a low episode (or the terrifying reality of being manic). It's more than simply breaking it down to "oh, that person's moody today". We can't necessarily will it away and it's more complicated than that. We deserve patience and reminders on how to cope to get through that period. Patience with ourselves and from our support system.

I definitely connected with the concept of counting down the hours. One tactic I used to use was seeing how long I could go, if I could make it one more minute, then hour, then day and just keep pushing. To not let the dark thoughts win.

There's an honesty, vulnerability and courage in your voice and I thank you so much for sharing that with us. Mental health struggles and mental illness is often trivialized, and some people don't realize they can do more harm than good in how they may think they are giving support or encouragement. Proud of you for fighting the good fight. Also, just one thing I noticed in this piece is the second to last stanza, first word fourth line should be "How".

Here's to surviving and hopefully living to thrive and keep being victorious <3