Comments : Insider

  • 8 months ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    I can see this piece in a magazine somewhere, your love for your husband, outrage at the what I call "casual/socially acceptable racism" that no one points out or that they think is just okay. I think people have this very definite version of what they believe racism to be, but they do not realize or are ever willing to first acknowledge the privilege inherently in being white. I will never live in fear because of the color of my skin. I don't deal with passing a police car and worrying if I will be pulled over, shot and all of that done because I somehow aggravated an officer and they were acting in "self defense". These are real things that are still so prevalent in the US, but people are content to say "we should treat everyone the same" instead of realizing the differences.

    Your poem gives chills because so often it is in the little things! We need to realize this about ourselves and admit any prejudices we can work on instead of thinking we're okay because as long as we don't do this or that, we're fine. We're a decent human. It can be in simply flinching or looking twice if a person of color is close. One example I see often is in TV shows or ads, I've heard comments before that that person is being too loud or their hair is too uncontrolled. Even comments on Facebook. "Well if she handled that better". Holding people of color to an inhuman standard. Small things that are actually big. Small comments that seek to control people of color in those ways.

    This is such an emotional and gutting piece, as usual, especially when you think of the concept of being seen as "an attraction" instead of knowing you and your family and your husband's story. Like you said, how you meet, all those beautiful journeys. Also in reading stories from biracial women, how often their identity is challenged, or they are questioned and feel like they have to explain or have this strong identity to both cultures. I cannot imagine how exhausting, or how isolating that would be if they would be questioned or invalidated simply for existing.

    I don't think I've read anything on PnQ in the recent years as chilling and as honest as this:
    "as if she might catch his blackness."

    because sadly, terrifyingly, I still believe people believe this. I believe people, whether they realize how damaging and harmful this is or not, still hold on to the slightest notion that people of color are inferior.

    And they don't entertain that idea in big, noticeable ways.
    It's in the small (but still deadly) ways.

    Ugh... baffles me how we can be proud of our country at this time. Or ever, really.

    • 8 months ago

      by (Linda) Leavers

      Love this. Thank you for this. You’re a breath of fresh air to read from, always.