Comments : A lying man will never be able to love an honest woman.
2 years ago
by Ben Pickard
I really do like this and the opening three lines are sublime, in my opinion.
We can only give so much of ourselves before we start to crumble too. And those we try to help and 'repair' have to want to help themselves.
I do have one small suggestion for this piece that may improve the flow of a ceratain line:
'Your discontent for my behaviour finally reached breaking point'
Just by dropping the 'its' condenses the line and makes it more succinct.
Anyway, nominated for the weekly.
No matter how hard you try, you cant make another person whole. People like that will drain you dry and leave you destroyed. Totally relatable piece, so many of us have been there. Stay strong, you are so much more than what this person made you feel like.
Nice work Risque', great beginning; I have given up so much time.
removing pieces of me
to fill the ones missing in you. The poem reveals the frustration of one unloved using heartfelt love in order to restore what was lost, lying eyes are not as bad as a lying tongue! Many lying tongues use this huge weapon to get thier way, once gotten, they go thier evil way. Glad it was Nominated by a great poet!