Comments : The Light in Her

  • 4 years ago

    by prasanna

    “She tried tearing
    the cloth that
    bandaged her eyes,

    but it only became thicker,

    sealing her soul in
    the darkest place.”

    Sort of reminded me of plato’s allegory of the cave (kinda) in the sense that people come accustom to their truth and stay tethered to that, is this character genuinely trying to ‘tear off the cloth’ or was it a half-hearted attempt? I also sort of read this as a continuation of your earlier poem, reconciliation, with her being the shadow which I’ll address later. I also think a better word could be used than ‘sealing’, it doesn’t feel as in sync with the rest of the verses, maybe try ‘securing’ instead? I do like that darkest place refers to depression of sorts, and being unable to see hence the need for bandages.

    “She roamed aimlessly,

    hoping she could find
    a good pair.

    One that would
    whisper to her ears,
    the direction to a
    destination she
    always missed.”

    I like the idea of a manufactured synaesthesia (mixup of senses, being able to hear from eyes), but I really like your decision to say ‘destination she/always missed’ meaning both literally and figuratively.

    “Eyes that could
    remind her,
    that light could take
    different forms.

    and her eyes
    aren’t the only way
    to find it.”

    A really fitting ending, there’s multiple solutions out there for any problem, it’s up to us to be open-minded enough to accept them and look for it. Like I said earlier, I read this as a continuation/prequel to your other poem, in it this character would be the shadow that lurks and links arm in arm with his shadow. That said, I like this, it’s experimental and something new from you :)

    • 4 years ago

      by Star

      Very interesting comment Mark. First of all, I didnt know what plato’s allegory of the cave. And the word “sealing” when I thought of it before deciding to use it. You are right it is not in sync with that part, but the meaning I have in mind it is more of “sealing” than “securing”. Maybe there is some other word, i’ll look into it!!
      Thank you very much for the detailed comment ^_^

  • 4 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Like faith, a blind man knows his path is true by the voice in his heart.

    I enjoyed the moral and the layout of this poem.

    • 4 years ago

      by Star

      Thank you so much!!