Comments : The Imperfection of Visible Light

  • 4 years ago

    by prasanna

    "But the images that flash
    in front of my eyes are dark,
    and the memories terminated
    themselves, for them to
    reborn today in duller
    shades."

    maybe change 'for them to reborn today' to 'only to be reborn' flows a bit better.

    and

    'If theories of science
    supported light and color
    are impossible to break,
    unless the universe is shutting
    itself down.'

    maybe reword it, so it's a bit more clear something like

    'if theories of science
    supports that light and color
    are impossible to break
    unless the universe itself
    is shutting down'

    or something along those lines.

    I really like this though, the idea of tying in science & poetry, pondering why things seem more dull for the speaker/character. The title is really well chosen too, it staged the poem exceptionally well.