Comments : The Recovery

  • 4 years ago

    by prasanna

    I love this! Following up from your other poem that's similarly titled, it's clear to see the connection and the story of one that made it out of the infinite loop. I know later you told me it was about the production of silk, and that's how I came to learn that its a common practice to boil cocoons to keep the silk fibers intact. I still find parallels between this poem and the human condition; we struggle over and over again, some make it out, some don't, and ones that do can be really jaded about life (survivor's guilt). This poem is honestly layered, and I really, really enjoy that. My one critique would be the second stanza:

    "you bled on her skin
    every time you pealed it."

    pealed should be peeled, and I think it better flows if it said 'you wounded her/every time you peeled her skin' or something along those lines. 'you bled on her skin' reads a bit confusing.

    That being said, I really really love this. Nominated!

    • 4 years ago

      by Star

      Oops typo!!!
      About the wound part you stated, you are right it flows much better, but I meant the person that bled not her. So that will change the original meaning.
      You know it isn’t only about silk :)
      Thank you so much!!!

  • 4 years ago

    by Tanya Southey

    Brilliant! and about silk! Wow.

    • 4 years ago

      by Star

      Thank youuu ^_^

  • 4 years ago

    by Tony Grannell

    Hello Star,
    I found this to be very sad. Maturing into adulthood and the finery of beauty but in truth a tortured soul, a brave face, as it were, facing the world but unable to fully exist, to be complete - the scars of abuse will always weep.
    A most excellent poem. Very well done indeed.
    Regards, Tony.

    • 4 years ago

      by Star

      Thank you so much :)