Comments : napowrimo 26 - About

  • 5 months ago

    by hiraeth

    Was it intentional to have this poem start off with 'about the humid weather', it feels like it was written mid sentence (not that it's a bad thing), but if that's the case, maybe use an ellipsis in the beginning to indicate that to the reader a bit more clearly.

    I love how neruda-esque this feels! It made me think of 'tonight, i can write the saddest lines' poem by him. The heartbreak in this poem is clear, with how the poet wills herself to write of everything but them; about the weather, sea, winter, summer.

    Something interesting that stood out to me was:

    'About stolons that grow at the surface
    for a purpose.'

    I was familiar with the concept but not the terminology of stolons; it's interesting, since they're above ground the connection can be easily severed/trampled over intentionally or accidentally. I think that fact in itself makes this poem uniquely sad.

    Repeating 'not about you' for the ending is powerful. This is beautiful, I'm sorry it roots from heartbreak though.