Comments : Octagon

  • 3 weeks ago

    by hiraeth

    The title's really clever, and this being a shape poem, using an octagon (the mma ring) to talk about your fight. I know I got it wrong the first time around, thinking it was meant to be a stop sign (I still don't know why or how I convinced myself to think that lol).

    That said, maybe the verses weren't supposed to directly correlate with fighting, or maybe it was, I still pictured a mma fight:

    'stole away my/steps' -> i had imagery of fighters moving closer to one another, and the other fighter with their back against the cage

    'this hesitating soul' -> imagery of a fighter knowing their out of their element but still fighting on

    'it’s the time that gets lost between every
    nostalgic breath I take.'

    imagery of fighters taking a break after each round struggling for breath,

    and obviously the ending.

    it may have been intended or not, but just wanted to point that out. this is a really layered write :)

    • 3 weeks ago

      by Star

      It is intended, I wanted to write something a little different :) Thaaaaaaaanks ^____^