Comments : Upset lullaby

  • 3 years ago

    by Milly Hayward

    "Tonight, the shadow in my closet is humming songs from your past" is just genius. It has so many potential connotations. A great little poem with great visuals. Glad to see it nominated. Milly x

    • 3 years ago

      by Star

      Thank you Milly ^_^

  • 3 years ago

    by D.

    I loved the final stanza, Star. I don't have much to say about this, other than it's solemnly beautiful. Glad to see it nominated, and I feel your poetry is developing a stronger and stronger voice each time I read something new from you. I would just comment that

    'Though, with every letter
    you are getting lost in context.'

    This is a little awkwardly phrased & possibly a little superfluous. I think it's already implied in the stanza above that the persona is having difficulties retaining the person she once knew in the words of her poetry.

    • 3 years ago

      by Star

      Thats actually right, I’m well aware that it’s already implied but my intention of saying was to actually make the verse longer add the letters. If that makes sense :)
      Thank you so much Daniel, that means a lot !!!

  • 3 years ago

    by Liz

    So glad to see this on the front page!

    • 3 years ago

      by Star

      Thank you Liz :)

  • 2 years ago

    by Lost star

    I'm so glad you highlighted this one, just beautifully written, I really like the sentiment that flows through this, it really is first class. Saved for later consumption :)

    • 2 years ago

      by Star

      It does capture a certain feeling for, thank you for leaving a comment :)