Comments : Dead Leaves

  • 3 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    "alabastor" should be "alabaster" I believe, and I rarely hear/read that word, so that was neat to see.

    "For once again" sounded a bit awkward? I didn't think the "For" was needed. I loved the finality though, and also the secrecy and mystery, like the sea will not disclose its truths and stories, nor will she.

    I think it worked to not give too much descriptions here, it was just the right amount to be a bit vague but also made me wonder what the woman represents. Perhaps a restless spirit, a reminder of regret, or wishing to be at peace when the world is chaos around us? Also, an interesting metaphor for autumn and our passing into winter, and how we adapt to the changes both in nature and what the seasons mean to us.

  • 3 years ago

    by Captain Lonesome

    "Does her mauve pout inspire fear or painful tranquility?" .... for me I'd have to say painful tranquility, and possibly a bit of empathy as well. Really like this poem!