Comments : Watch (9 syllables )

  • 4 months ago

    by Star

    Love this!!! 9 syllables yet you painted a clear picture :)

  • 4 months ago

    by Keira Pickard

    The title complements the poem really well, as it could be taken as " watch the crows" or " watch the night fall". Whichever the reader interprets :)
    I like the alliteration that you've used it most of the lines and also how much you've displayed in nine syllables. The imagery is excellent and I can see it all clearly.
    It must be very hard to express yourself in so little wording, but I though you did this really well. I loved it!

    • 4 months ago

      by Everlasting

      Thank you Keira. As always love your comments.

  • 4 months ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    And suddenly the sun
    was stolen

    • 4 months ago

      by Everlasting

      Nine syllables! But to the point

      So the poem follows:

      Crowds of crows
      cover the sky
      night falls

      And suddenly the sun
      was stolen

      My turn:

      Fireflies
      in crow’s wings
      become like stars

    • 4 months ago

      by Star

      Im jealous I will add to it too :p

      A murder
      steals away
      the darkness.

    • 4 months ago

      by Everlasting

      So it goes:

      Crowds of crows
      cover the sky
      night falls

      And suddenly the sun
      was stolen

      fireflies
      in crow’s wings
      become like stars

      a murder
      steals away
      the darkness

      Batman asks,
      have some one seen
      my bats?

  • 4 months ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Crowds of crows
    cover the sky
    night falls

    And suddenly the sun
    was stolen

    fireflies
    in crow’s wings
    become like stars

    a murder
    steals away
    the darkness

    Batman asks,
    have some one seen
    my bats?

    Yes, their wingbeats smudged
    that distant dawn