Comments : A Beautiful Life

  • 2 years ago

    by Sunshine

    I enjoyed every stanza and how natural the words fit together. You delivered those lines beautifully, but that last part was everything. Very meaningful too. As usual, amazing work.

    • 2 years ago

      by Ben Pickard

      Thank you so much for your time, Rania. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

  • 2 years ago

    by Keira Pickard

    In the first two lines, I loved the use of floral imagery - but my question is do you know what the flowers actually are? Lol.
    The next two lines were refreshing, though I know for a fact you're not so keen on the type of elderberry wine you get!
    I really liked the description in the following stanza, it's beautifully written.
    I always enjoy the use of 'swathes' in a poem, as you don't tend to see it used much and I find it a very rich word. I loved the line

    Shadows lost their form

    As shadows are always structured in the particular form of whatever object they reflect off. The idea of anything being powerful enough to overthrow something as set as a shadow is wonderful. I love the rest of the third stanza.
    Moving onto the final four lines, they are stunningly delicate. I can't decide if it ends in a bittersweet, sad or uplifting way, but I think that's the beauty of it. It depends purely on your mood.
    I loved how you've centered it, and how you've only rhymed every few lines. The title is simple, but perfect for the text. Lovely, I am really glad to see it nominated:)

    • 2 years ago

      by Ben Pickard

      A wonderful and insightful comment, Keira. Thank you.x

  • 2 years ago

    by Jack

    Great Poem! I really liked it! Glad its nominated!

    • 2 years ago

      by Ben Pickard

      Thank you, Jack

  • 2 years ago

    by Star

    This had a beautiful rhythm to it, delivers the words in a gentle way!! Very good , glad to see it nominated :)