Comments : If you Were a River, Poetry

  • 1 year ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    I love how you speak directly to poetry and even invoke its name throughout the poem. Like poetry is an essence, something that holds so much but is intimate and personal with us at the same time. My only critique, and it's simply a preference, is that I think it would sound better as "I'd like to learn". I think the "l" is too much in "I'll" right next to "like" and doesn't flow as well. I kind of interpreted this whole piece as a spiritual awakening within yourself. Perhaps letting yourself feel, speaking to your soul and giving yourself permission to share and not hold back any and all emotion. My favorite line was when you stated you are not a diver or a swimmer but only human. It also highlighted the flaws in poetry, that we are not always going to come out on top, and the vulnerabilities may overwhelm and burden us... but we share what we can, even if it doesn't have the best form or shape or rhythm. We breathe. We write. We try to keep our head above waters.

    Lovely read!