The Pitcher

Seeking to have things the way they once were.

Fighting this truth that I just can't endure.

Making a promise to forget you by dawn.

Wondering what it was I did wrong.

Sleeping only to be with you in dreams.

Haunting myself with these silent screams.

Waking to find that the dream wasn't real.

Wanting you to know how hollow I feel.

Searching to rid you from the depths of my soul.

Trying, ineffectively, to get my life in control.

Seeing your face in other people I know.

Putting on a fake smile so the pain won't show.

Living only because I won't take my own life.

Reaching into my heart to remove your jagged knife.

Yearning for the warmth of your body against mine.

Knowing that these memories, too, will fade with time.

(N.) (Summer 1999)