Unclear

I guess its my turn
to write another poem
i don't what else to do
while sitting around at home
a tear runs down my cheek
but i guess i know the truth
and this time i wont make a fuss
even though i have proof
i listened to my friend today
while she told me its was stupid
to keep believing you
and letting you in like i would cupid
i don't know right now

everyones telling me
I'm stupid to believe
and that your just playing me
and because of you i grieve
they say I'm to good for you
that i could have anyone
some guys prove that true but i
still wait here thinking your the one
i told myself before
i wouldn't forgive you again
but i apologized for things i didn't do
so i could be your friend
but you pushed me away

then you came calling
saying it was all a lie
you dated to get back at me
your tears made me cry
someone told me you were still
keeping in contact with her
and telling her of your love
and your love for me wasn't pure
in the back of my head there's a
50% chance I'm getting played
yet i always tell myself different
in my heart you stayed
I'm so confused

so i wont say a thing
wont bring up unneeded drama
but in the back of my head
is the ongoing trauma
there must be a reason
i keep going back to you
even though everything
tells me not to
i could be fooling myself
while you're fooling me
maybe I'm just blind to it
or maybe i refuse to see

Lexi Lou