i like how this is written. good job!

Kinddaaa like metallica's unforgiven

With time the child draws in
This whipping boy done wrong
Deprived of all his thoughts
The young man struggles on and on he's known
A vow unto his own
That never from this day
His will they'll take away

even then your is a different point of view...u have originality mate...i love your work...nva stop writing