Are

I hate myself
I hate what I've become
God, please help me
Forgive me for what I've done
I realize it wasn't right
I know it was uncalled for
Please help me
Unlock this deadbolt door
Please take down my walls
That no one can climb
Please help me
Heal eventually in time
Do you know why I did it?
I don't understand
Why would I give up something
That makes me who I am?
God, please help him realize
That I'm sorry from the deepest depths of my heart
Please let him know
I've torn myself apart
God, can you talk to him
And let him know what I'm thinking of?
Please let him know
He is the only one I love
I thought I wouldn't cry
But I'm crying myself to sleep
Why is he the only thing
Of which I think?
God, please let him know
Everything that's true
I'll wait for him forever
If that's what I have to do
But since he won't take me back
I'll just have to dream from afar
I have to accept the fact
That things can only be what they are

*Dedicated to: Nick J. Retzlaff*