Looking out into the silent world,
No sound present to my ears,
In the arms of those I did miss,
As all my dreams so blissful,
Turned and decayed into nothing.
The feel of the memory,
The thought, it whispers,
And leads me down the paths I must take,
The agony all around as I move in an unmoving world,
Kneeling beside you, looking down at the fairy you could be,
Misery takes me and holds me down, no sound..
Hitting an alarm clock, hand moving so slow,
No sound as the morning comes and I feel so full of woe,
Dawn brings things to my mind, making me feel ill inside,
The hopes I had for the future,
Have been taken,
And plagued,
Withdrawn from my soul,
You sit in the chair, arms on the rests,
The people stay away, leaving me with you,
The dismay,
I see your eyes, so many times I’ve cried,
I’ve seen a happy thought turn to grey in your hands,
Confined,
So sadly blood does flow,
My dreams pour out on your table,
For you to take hold off,
Missing all the hopes I had in the world,
All the future I had planned,
I never knew your youth, but I miss your innocent thoughts,
I now live under your power, and I’ve lost all that I’ve become,
I will never know your kind side, but still I wish to gain,
You were to be my mother, but still you hold such hate,
Now I will always fear to hope for your love again,
The irony of my cries, as I fall down and bleed,
So joyfully I skipped home, how I loved to hold your hand,
You used to call to me and tell me about your day,
The doctor now concerned, as I lay limp in your grasp, the dismay,
Too late I see your hatred and too late I understand,
Just what did I take away?
I never felt your love and now you are gone without a trace,
All that is left now is the hatred that you hold, the hatred I connive in,
The hatred that scars my ways, replaced...
You will never be my mother, but I stall love you all the same,
I was born as your daughter and relied on you to care, how can I rely on another again?
Still I follow you, in silence I hear a voice,
To you it leads, your hands grey on the armchair arms,
You face stern and me full of scars,
The eyes you hold,
For all the years so empty I dam the misery that flooded my life,
I miss you for all the things you never were,
I miss the innocent thoughts and kind ways,
I miss you for everything I wanted and need you to be,
Missing you… missing…. Missing….
