I liked the subject and the message you where trying to convey very much, but there are things I'm not too keen on. You've chosen to launch yourself into the arms of love poetry, a brave thing to do. What I mean is it's a very over done subject and to write a great love poem is very hard.
The way you formatted it was very jumpy. I personally like love poems, especially ones like this to flow nicely from one line to another. This enables the reader to be enthralled in your words. However the jumpiness throws the reader off mood, and doesn't help to convey the message. Do you see what I mean?
Also on the third line I believe you have a typo.
If you sort out the typo I think this poem is fine as it is. I advise, of course it's up to you whether you take it or not, that when writing a heartfelt piece like this in future, you consider the smooth flow. Thanks for sharing. Keep writing, keep improving.

Great message to it, and I like the format, gives it a nice uniqueness to it, great overall xxx

interesting way of writting and setting out but i like it! its heaps great i love this poem its heaps poetic and creative your heaps talented! excellent work! 5/5
bec xXx