that could make a grown man cry!!!!!

This is a great poem! I love it!

"I Fell Asleep"

loved it,your good,but i dont think you know how good gal

I can relate to an extent. You did well on this poem, and I applaud you. Great Job!

Take Care, Jess x

HAYLEY
wow i love your poetry it always comes from the hearti agree with bluehun you don't know how fantastly brilliant you are at writing if i had inch of your talent i'dshout it from the roof tops
now hun down to work
why you never on msn messanger no more i have daily inernet excess so no excuses lol
best go hun oh i wrote a poem for you title hyley williams i hope you like
take care and mail me
love you loads
lorna
xxxx

hayley williams* sorry missed a out lol
love me

wow thats amazing.. very sad though.. take care Hayley.. I love your writing so keep up the good work.

wow hayley that was really good and sad...is it true? if it is i am so sry...and im always there if u want to talk...my emails are firedemongirl@msn.com or fire_demon_girl2000@yahoo.com...my msn messenger is also the msn one...ttyl love Kori

As Janie said, enough to make a grown man cry. That was a difficult poem to read yet I could not turn away. The pain that's laden in every word reaches something deep inside, compells you to keep reading even though it causes such heartache. Hayley, you are a true artist.

Hayley: So sad, but yet so true. There seems to be no escape from that damage of abuse. I have always loved your writings and pray that someday you will find a sense of security.

Though this poem is excellent there is just one minor part that I would change

"Tears stream down her face
He had did it yet again
Memories haunt her mind
Pain takes over her brain"

The second line I would change to : He did it yet again.

Just omit the word had and it gives the whole stanza a better flow.

Again my frien another great work of art you have produced.

Take care babe

--Sher

This is cristin and this poem has made me an emotional reck unfortunately, but it was an excellent poem!!!!!!!!
keep thriving for what you beleive in and what you think is right
hang in there your worth it and you seem like an amazing girl
love always
cristin

Wow Hayley... It's yet another emotional one... I know what this girl goes through, so everything you write just touches me... It's amazing. Your a good writer Hayley... Keep it up...!!

Wow , your poem is really good, excellent infact. The poem has a big impact on all that reads it including me although quite upsetting. You are an amazing poet :). Good work xx

Wow Hayle its been so a long time since I have read your poems...i've been away for quite some time lol.....Lisa Reed also known as lol. I think you definetly have not lost your touch for writing...you've definetly gotten better.......excellent poem.

Take care, Lis

Wow. such a sad, poignant poem. congrats, a lot of emotion here. I hope this isn't true. =( my favourite stanza:

"The scars will never fade away
The damage is just too deep
I am too afraid to stay awake
But much to scared to sleep "

^^ GREAT flow, touching words, and leaves me thinking.

Great job, 5/5

Wow! this is reli gdd!! very touching and emotional!