this is a amazing write....theres is nothing i would change about this poem.....stay true to you...~sherrie~

That one line, "I know it’s wrong and bad and stuff", it doesn't fit in with the rest of the poem at all. it takes away any seriousness you may have tried to convey. But anyway, it's an okay poem - kind of overreaching, but okay nonetheless. I hope, however, it's not based on your reality.

thanks for the comments, unfortunately it is true, i suffer frm asthma bt dont take the medication and i never eat lunch nd dnt eat much if ne breakfast bt im still survivng

Good job, you seem to be going through the exact same thing that my friend is going through, don't give up there is hope! Things will get better just hang in there

great poem, really expressive! feeling in control feels like the best thing but there is so little that you can control and feel like thats the one thing your powerful in. i like this poem, great job!