This was very good. I liked the words you used and the way you managed to keep the rhyme going the whole time, very good :)

-5-

xx, PorteR

wow great poem very creative you have a way with words! >>5/5<<
bec xXx

Overall it was good. But once we start to pick at it, a few flaws fall out. The very first verse was beautifully written, but you lost that elegance once you reached the third verse. It didn't quite fit in with the rest. The rest of the poem was kind of soft, even... though the third verse was somewhat harder to accept. My suggestion is that you don't focus as much on rhyming, but rather on accomplishing an image, an idea... rhyming isn't as important as the message. You're on the right path, though.

Pretty good...I agree with Scarlette though...Sometimes trying to rhyme can take away from the meaning which is what I think happened here. Cheers.

mm well thanks, if u feel that way about this poem, but to me it has my own meaning and a strong one that maybe because it is not felt by the reader it is yet to be understood.

I liked it! Interesting...different than other poems I've read. Keep it up!
Always,
Angel

I liked it too. I love it actually. Keep it up.

that was realy good and really different, keep it up xxxx

wow that was awesome...great job!

very deep. wonderfully written~!!~
keep it up