I tried not to fall, but i did anyway!

I broke the rules, though i tried not to.
i tried not to care, not to get too deep.
i didn\'t need to let you in, but i did.
i tried not to listen too closely, i tried.
i didn\'t want to memorize every gesture,
each line, each crease when you would smile.
but i did.
and i did.

so when you see me,
just know that even if i won\'t show it,
i fell for you.
I tried so hard not to need you,
i did my best to resist.
every time i felt that rush,
i was just so scared.
i wanted it to be real,
i wanted to be sure.
and every time we touched,
i fell all over again.
like a fall that wouldn\'t end.
i tried to find some fault,
though the faults i found were my own.
i was still hurt, still afraid.
i felt that with you
all my feelings were betrayed, spoken aloud.
all you did and every word you said went straight to my heart
and brought it back to life.
so when you see me,
just know that even if i won\'t show it...i fell for you.
fast and hard, when you left it hurt so bad.

i don\'t blame you at all.
and i would take back anything i ever did that hurt you.
i\'m glad for you if you are happier now.

i just wanted to tell you that i love you.

even if you never read this,
its okay.
even if you never know it,
its okay.
i love you just the same.
so when i look away,
just understand that its because i don\'t want you to know.
its because i\'m afraid you\'ll see.
its because i\'m scared, that maybe you don\'t love me.

i tried not to fall in love with you.
i tried not to remember your touch.
i tried not to remember your smile.
but i did.
and i do.