Comments : The Child That Never Seen the Light

  • 19 years ago

    by MYkisstoBETRAY

    Good write!!! It's sad and has an interesting subject, I just found one thing I think would sound better changed. You said "The child that never seen the light" and grammatically it should be "had never seen" or "never saw". I guess most people dont really mind, I just think it might improve it's sound. It's so good other than that. Really heartfelt, I can see. (But this is just my thoughts...of course, do what you want!) Keep writing! You're great!
    *jacki*

  • 19 years ago

    by Robert

    the flow was abit choppy but the message was very clear and very real good job on that. I would watch what your doing putting present tense into past but that comes with time good job. Read Out Of Sight for me will you

  • 19 years ago

    by Poetically Speaking

    Great poem, it's a sad subject, I'm sorry about what happened to you. Yeah, take Roberts advice, a tad choppy, but you're getting better.

  • aw*Tear* that's sad:( but a great poem. Keep up the good work

  • 18 years ago

    by Nici

    An interesting topic, that was obviously filled with emotion. One minor point though:
    In the second stanza the last line which reads:
    'This decision was for the wrong cause'
    Seems to long when compared to the rest of this poem. Therefore it effects the flow which was working well until and after this point. Still worth the read though!

    Keep Writing
    Nici

  • 18 years ago

    by Kit Kat Katie

    This is really sad.. I like it alot. It looks like u prolly had some deep thought in this one. Great Job

    Luv Alwayz,
    Katie Schettler

  • 18 years ago

    by VampyraKi†

    Nice flow.

  • 18 years ago

    by Poetic Tragedy08

    Why this rating is 3.9 is beyond me! I loved this one, you have your very own style and thats awesome!! great job!!

  • 18 years ago

    by t i f f a n y ♥

    I'm not sure if this is true. I guess I will just assume it is.. If it is true, I'm really sorry you had to go through this. I hope things get better.

    Love much,
    Tiff

  • 18 years ago

    by sHaTtErEdMiStAkE

    oh my god this was such an amazing poem... it really is sooo sad.. is it true... just thought i would ask... anyways 5/5 another great poem...

    ttyl
    Maddy

  • 18 years ago

    by Lyla

    aww i love that poem so much! It was so sad and so well written, good job!

  • 18 years ago

    by jencam

    very powerful...nice job!

  • 18 years ago

    by VampyraKi†

    great job keep it up

  • 18 years ago

    by Renee

    Great write. Very interesting and real. The message itself is a heartfelt subject, and the way you wrote it is excellent.

    Take care,
    Renee

  • 18 years ago

    by Emily

    Awww, thats so sad! I'm against abortion, and that poem is so GOOD! 5/5, EXCELLENT JOB!

  • 18 years ago

    by undying blusher

    Brilliant. You put so much into one poem, and I love it. Beautiful, real, sad, heartfelt, and really important message. Thank you.
    And I am sorry if this happened to you. Horrible things to go through...with that guilt and regret on top of everything.

    xxx

  • 18 years ago

    by tabithaa

    that was good

  • 18 years ago

    by Emma

    very real. i liked the poem alot. keep up the good work.

    Emma.

  • 18 years ago

    by Andrea

    awwwww this poem was sooo sad.

  • 18 years ago

    by wendy

    This poem really touched my heart