I'm gonna break your poem down by line, kay?
(ex. 64. sunlight shines down: I'll give the line number and what I think the line means...or give you my notes on the line.)
2. Being alone makes you inevitably fake
3. hah, "light chatting on energy"
4. But isn't that life, in essence?
5. bunch of BS
6. Go government! NOT
7. "our general eyes" that can't see more than what's plain (only plane).
8. Go Kevin! lol, love this line
9, 10, and 11 can have many meanings and to be truthful, that confuses me. :)
12. here's that acting again.
13. I like how you bring the last three stanzas into this one.
14. Very versatile and useful mask you have there.
15, and 16: time will go on.
Now, I'm sorry if I murdered the meaning of your poem...:) A lot of people do that to mine, too. Either that or they just say, "good job 5/5" instead of critiquing because they don't know what the hell I'm talking about...
Anyway, killer poem. :) I like it a lot even though I don't quite know how to put into words what three of the lines mean. I think you just expressed them perfectly which leaves me without the means of elaboration.
This poem is to clever for me! Anyway, you should be published, if you aren't already. Thanks for your advice, I'll try to take it on board. The poem wasn't as good as it could be, because the website wouldn't let me have appostrophies. Consequently, it didn't read as well in the final version as in the original. Thanks again. Charlie x
Damn, I really need to start reading my comments before I post them, here is a revised version of my previous post:
"This poem is too clever for me! You should be published, if you aren't already.
Thanks for your advice, I'll try to take it on board. My poem wasn't as good as it could be, because the website wouldn't let me use apostrophies. Consequently, it didn't read as well in the final version as in the original. Thanks again. Charlie x"
Okay, My first guess was that you were talking about god, but then I changed my mind.
Here are my thoughts on this:
^^^When feigning composure and normality
y'know the fakeness of oneness that's plague
I enjoy light chatting on energy
discussion of things unproven and vague
---I'm unsure but I think that you are talking about the unity of man, more like government, in the two first sentences. You consider it not genuine, fake that it spreads rapidly like a plague.
Then on the next two sentences, you prefer to talk informally, casually and unconcerned about this type of subject that is vague and not proven.
When shaping a viewpoint from blankness
like party opinion chameleons you know?
our general eyes become a nation
a communistic psychology show
-----When we try to come up with answers from no where to base ourselves from, our ideas are rearrange " like a party opinion of chameleons" meaning that they change, they don't stay consistent. Those ideas or theories changed to adapt to what other people think and some times they cause disagreements and conflicts that can lead to war.
When trekking alphabets starting points
naked as the day you were mourned
expressly modeling wise and sexy
shielded by what you've adorned
---- When we go back to see our history's beginning we are unprotected and vulnerable just as when we where in sorrow and deep regret that its represented like that because that's how they wrote it to alert or to make sure people is aware of the appealing details of what they want us to know.
these things conspire confederacy style
to distract one from the proper one
days spent dawning all the while
regardless of the damage done
---- This type of thinking is fed to us from a conspiring alliance to distract us from knowing the truth and forget the days when we suffered and the damage they have cause with their decisions.
Okay, this is what I understood from your poem. I apologize in advance if this is not what you meant, please. Correct me if I'm wrong.