Comments : So Shall

  • 17 years ago

    by Kevin

    I'd love someone to break this down and work it out...even just to see if they can get all the clever bits....

  • 17 years ago

    by chloe

    i dont get it.. im just a child... lol... sounds really good thou .... mabey i should shut up and leave the intelligent people to comment lol great job n e ways :) x

  • 17 years ago

    by EpithetPoet

    very impressed by this one. one of those poems that you need to read a second time to fully understand it, but glad you read it twice. nicely done.
    -A

  • 17 years ago

    by Dorotea©

    I don't think this poem is fully understandable, but it was definitly a well written poem. From what I understood i can tell it's a very good poem. Keep writing, I enjoyed this write.
    Satuxxa

  • 17 years ago

    by Samantha

    I'm gonna break your poem down by line, kay?
    (ex. 64. sunlight shines down: I'll give the line number and what I think the line means...or give you my notes on the line.)

    1. Pretending/acting
    2. Being alone makes you inevitably fake
    3. hah, "light chatting on energy"
    4. But isn't that life, in essence?

    5. bunch of BS
    6. Go government! NOT
    7. "our general eyes" that can't see more than what's plain (only plane).
    8. Go Kevin! lol, love this line

    9, 10, and 11 can have many meanings and to be truthful, that confuses me. :)
    12. here's that acting again.

    13. I like how you bring the last three stanzas into this one.
    14. Very versatile and useful mask you have there.
    15, and 16: time will go on.

    Now, I'm sorry if I murdered the meaning of your poem...:) A lot of people do that to mine, too. Either that or they just say, "good job 5/5" instead of critiquing because they don't know what the hell I'm talking about...

    Anyway, killer poem. :) I like it a lot even though I don't quite know how to put into words what three of the lines mean. I think you just expressed them perfectly which leaves me without the means of elaboration.

    ..."Great job 5/5"...lol

  • 17 years ago

    by jencam

    nice! really powerful!

  • 17 years ago

    by jencam

    nice! really powerful!

  • This poem is to clever for me! Anyway, you should be published, if you aren't already. Thanks for your advice, I'll try to take it on board. The poem wasn't as good as it could be, because the website wouldn't let me have appostrophies. Consequently, it didn't read as well in the final version as in the original. Thanks again. Charlie x

  • Damn, I really need to start reading my comments before I post them, here is a revised version of my previous post:

    "This poem is too clever for me! You should be published, if you aren't already.
    Thanks for your advice, I'll try to take it on board. My poem wasn't as good as it could be, because the website wouldn't let me use apostrophies. Consequently, it didn't read as well in the final version as in the original. Thanks again. Charlie x"

    I think that makes more sense. Ta. x

  • 16 years ago

    by Jessica

    THAT WAS AWESOME!!! really great poem! thanks for the advice on my poems... i'll keep that in mind on my other poems that i write... hmm... thanks for commenting on my poem!!love always, Jessica

    xX-missing him-Xx

  • 16 years ago

    by Kelli

    Wow....lol wow, thats all i can say....but yeah thanks for seeing my stuff. take care.
    luv always,
    kelli

  • 16 years ago

    by *~vixen~*

    Great job!
    5/5+

  • 10 years ago

    by L


    Okay, My first guess was that you were talking about god, but then I changed my mind.

    Here are my thoughts on this:

    ^^^When feigning composure and normality
    y'know the fakeness of oneness that's plague
    I enjoy light chatting on energy
    discussion of things unproven and vague

    ---I'm unsure but I think that you are talking about the unity of man, more like government, in the two first sentences. You consider it not genuine, fake that it spreads rapidly like a plague.
    Then on the next two sentences, you prefer to talk informally, casually and unconcerned about this type of subject that is vague and not proven.

    When shaping a viewpoint from blankness
    like party opinion chameleons you know?
    our general eyes become a nation
    a communistic psychology show

    -----When we try to come up with answers from no where to base ourselves from, our ideas are rearrange " like a party opinion of chameleons" meaning that they change, they don't stay consistent. Those ideas or theories changed to adapt to what other people think and some times they cause disagreements and conflicts that can lead to war.

    When trekking alphabets starting points
    naked as the day you were mourned
    expressly modeling wise and sexy
    shielded by what you've adorned

    ---- When we go back to see our history's beginning we are unprotected and vulnerable just as when we where in sorrow and deep regret that its represented like that because that's how they wrote it to alert or to make sure people is aware of the appealing details of what they want us to know.

    these things conspire confederacy style
    to distract one from the proper one
    days spent dawning all the while
    regardless of the damage done

    ---- This type of thinking is fed to us from a conspiring alliance to distract us from knowing the truth and forget the days when we suffered and the damage they have cause with their decisions.

    Okay, this is what I understood from your poem. I apologize in advance if this is not what you meant, please. Correct me if I'm wrong.