*Smiles* Well thank you anyways.

great poem:P
makes me feel im there...
5/5
keep up the good work;)

No...it didn't happen...but if I killed myself it would. *Laughs to self*

Hey "Dark" Awesome poem hunny, Im sorry I didnt comment earlier, I have been on alot befor eand u were on :( so sorry!! I would have before if I'd known, Well I think oyur poems r really good anyway!! Dont bother raing mine coz thye all suck :( anywho Im in chat so better go, Love ya lots!!! SNTR

Great poem, I love it, it's so dark, I'm sure for every person who feels that they should take their life because no one cares there will always be someone who can't live without them.....excellent write....stay strong
xxxxxxxxxxxxx

*Smiles* Thank you Lost Girl....I appreciate it...

Great.

This is just another awesome poem of yours!
It''s kinda creepy but also very sad as the emotions flow in and out your head, just like the words all flow nicely..
I love it so keep writing!

xxx

Its a sad poem & flow was good ! im touched !
5/5
great work !

In its own way, this was very beautiful, i enjoyed reading it, :)

Another one of my favorites. I love all your poems so im addin you to my Favorites lol Great job once again. 5/5
Becky
xoxo

Amazing Write . A Great start to my long vigorous feat. lol. it kept my attention through tthe whole poem and i found my self feeling it. (i know, i m weird) but great job. amazing imagery and words. i also love the broken rhyme scheme and such, i find myself writing that way more and more.

Tiny Heart(my weird characters dont work on comments... =[)

This is a very sad poem!
loved the use of words, and how it flowed! it had so much emotion in it! made me wanna cry!

Keep it up!

This poem is so sad! it makes e want to cry *sniff* but you could try puting breaks in but it seems good without!

I really like this poem it is like romeo and juliet. I love it. keep up the good work. another 5/5

Strong poem... just like romeo and juliet! hehe! well sorta! :P
its cool lookin at ur early poem... u have evolved but still i like these poems!!! much love

You suggested that I read some of your older work to see how much you've improved. So, here I am reading your first poem. :]

Okay first off, this is wayyy better than my earlier poems, however, you are right. You have greatly improved.

The flow was really great in some places, and then other it completely through me off. The same thing goes for the rhymes. Sometimes, they were great and natural, and others they seemed a little forced.

And broken wings,

^^ eek. so cliche. >.<

This little girl,
She weeps and cries,
She's mad at the world,
And doesn't know why.

^^ I really like this part. "She's mad at the world, and doesn't know why". I feel like that a lot. Very relatable [at least for me].

"No one can help her,
Yet no one will try,"

^^ Gosh, hun, I know this feeling so well. It's like even though you probably can't help me.. It'd be nice if you at least tried.

With everything to hide,
She lingers in bed,
As the thoughts of suicide,
Run through her head.

^^ okay, you've just talked about suicidal thoughts. It's just a little redundent [sp?]. Maybe take that part out? Or the other part. OR change it to some different thoughts?

I am so much in tune with this poem. It's like you just pulled the thoughts right out of my head somehow.

Once again, this was really great for one of your first poems. Well, I guess this might not be your first poem, but it's the first one on here so, hehe. :]

Sorry if it was a little harsh. >.< I hate being mean.

Keep writing and take care!
Cayce