ok...I didn't really feel very much emtion in this one..but its got a nice flow....keep writting...u will only get better....Check out Love Always and To The Cutters...plz

xoxo
Kayla

Not much emotion but definatly shows you have the potential to grow as a writter, the flow is good and the story is clear.

L x

There are two things wrong I think. One that you seem to be in a victims state of mind very bad thing to do when writing another is you got alot of ideas that just don't flow. You are only 14 but you have along ways to go keep trying and read some this will help with your vocabulary.

the ryming pattren is a bit off but this poem has the abilty to be great.....try look over it and change the pattren a little not 2 2 2 3 etc..... anyways good poem x

It seems all 3 writings are related. Hopefully they will all be resolved. I wonder what the last line, "stop loving me the day I met you?" Did all of this occur in just one day or is it over time?

excellent poem 5

poems that dont rhyme dont go down to well but good flow and keep at it, youll only improve

XsaraX

I loved it good job! Keep it up

xoxoxo

Good poem! i gave you a 5 because i can understand what you went through.