One mistake

Love is only what you make of it
just like fear and pain
and it took me one guy
that i never knew i loved
to help me realize that

i never liked to take chances
to live life i hid in my shell
until i burst and i was dead
i never knew what love was

for 6 months i was dark
i cut and i only thought of me
it was only black for me
and a broken heart is all i knew

if i knew what love was last year
i would have been so much happier
i wouldn't have lost everything
i would have been me

but i never thought
i could ever love
so i went and thought of me
and what my pain was like

till i realized
I'm pushing everyone away
last year i loved me
what happened

because i was dark
because i was someone I'm not
because i hated myself
no one came close

i realized i changed
to get people to notice me
to like me even more
but i wasn't being true

now that i have realized
the ones who loved me
the way that i was
are completely gone now
and i have no one

now that i know
if i would have stayed true to myself
i would have loved myself and others
and they would have loved me back

even though I've already lost
the few that i actually love
i wont let it get me down
cause it was just a teen mistake

now i can hope from forever till now
i will stay true to myself
and keep others close
instead of pushing everyone away

i will always have my past
and i will always have the future
but the present is what i need
to work on
to get who i love most back